Yes, I'm Going to Uganda. No, You Shouldn't Say That.

This is going to be one of the most pretentious things I write, but I plan on spending most of my day at a local brewery and will afford myself the easy way out this morning. Plus the big things going on today is the International Day of the Girl (which is awesome, check yesterday’s blog for a similar theme) and whether Turkey and Syria will go to war, and I'm nowhere near knowledgeable enough to make a guess at that. So while I appreciate your interest, here is a list of 10 questions and comments I have heard about traveling to or from Uganda that are annoying or simply stereotypical.

1. The word “Africa”

The only time Africa is a country is here, and if you’re a regular visitor I applaud you. Africa is a continent comprised of 57 countries, and they’re all pretty different. I know it might be a bit of a shock that South Africa, Egypt, Mali, Ghana and DR Congo all share the same continent, but let’s try and face that reality. So while it is accurate to say that I’m going back to Africa, and will be in Africa for six months, it’s more accurate to say Uganda. Come on, you know you’re better than that anyways.

2. Be safe, bring a gun

I appreciate the attempt at humor, but guns aren't that safe, not to mention that most people are not allowed to bring them on international flights. Uganda also isn't dangerous, and I probably have horrible aim regardless. Plus, let’s be real: Telling somebody to be safe in Uganda by carrying a firearm is like telling somebody to be a studious college student by freebasing heroin. It doesn't make sense.

3.         Don’t drink the water

This is one of those overarching pieces of traveler advice that is beyond overused, like “Find out if you shake with your right or left hand”, or item #5 on this list. I drink the water all the time, just after it has been boiled. Plastic water bottles and the environment don’t go hand-in-hand, especially in a country with few good options for waste disposal.

4.         Go find Kony

After I left the country last year, Joseph Kony became synonymous with Uganda, and really the whole of Africa (see item #1). A year ago there were a handful of ex-LRA combatants in the program, and they might still be participating, but Joseph Kony has nothing to do with the work I’m doing. He isn't in any country I plan on traveling to, either. I’m hoping the African Union has a better chance of finding him than I do, although at this point who knows.

5.         Make sure to tell people you’re Canadian

Uganda isn't Iran, or Chile, or Cambodia, or any other country where there is a legitimate reason to dislike Americans. The last time I checked, the United States didn't colonize any land in Africa, and while we did some pretty crappy things to Patrice Lumumba, there isn't much of a reason for Ugandans to hate Americans. Plus, Canadian could lead to French, which could make things complicated, so the stars and stripes it is.

6.         Did you know anybody who had AIDS?

I don’t know, I didn't see any name tags that said “Hi, my name is ____, and I have AIDS.” This is actually one of the more stereotypical and offensive questions people can’t seem to resist asking. Uganda has made huge strides in AIDS prevention, one of the few things Museveni can still rest his hat on. I’m sure all of us have worked with or known somebody with HIV/AIDS, I have no clue why there is still such a stigma around it.

7.         Are you going with a church?

No. To be fair, this question is generally asked by the parents of a friend, or dentist or doctor or somebody else who doesn't know me well enough to not ask. Religious organizations can do great work in developing countries, and operate in some of the most remote and dangerous regions of the world delivering health care and other essentials. Carl Wilkins is a bit of a hero to me. The annoyance simply comes when one automatically assumes that volunteering has to be a religious undertaking.

8.         Maybe you’ll meet a nice African American girl

Only one person said this to me, but there should be a special spot reserved for her stupidity. The comment came after she asked me if I was dating anybody, a question that was preceded by her telling me not to go to Libya because Muslims hate us and our freedom. Harrisonburg can be a wonderful place to talk with well-informed people, I miss it already. I’m sure that there are many African Americans in Uganda, but she also asked me if I would be living with “white people or African Americans”, so there was enough context to know that she was simply an idiot.

9.         What’s the worst thing you saw?

Are you a morbid human being or did you just finish a movie marathon consisting of Hotel Rwanda, Blood Diamond, and Machine Gun Preacher? To answer your question honestly, the worst thing I saw was a high-level British expatriate berating a man for not making his pizza fast enough. It reeked of colonialism and people with bad manners are a huge bummer, but I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear. I've seen worse things from college students in one night at the local bar than I did in four months in Uganda.

10.     What are you going to do when you get back?

There is nothing inherently wrong with this question, it’s just one that gets exhausting to answer. I have no clue what I’ll be doing in six months, and I don’t really want to either. There’s something to be said about living every day as it comes, and I’m looking forward to being able to do that again. Life is fun, why spoil the ending?